What the heart wants
by futuremrshudson
Summary: Prodical Father alternate ending - Jack's thoughts as he rides the elevator, will he go home with Allie or will he choose Sue and make things work out they way he wants them too...
1. Chapter 1

**What the Heart Wants - ****Hiya - this one has been going around my head for a few days so I gave in and wrote it - it is in two parts - this being the first, It is written as Jack's POV during Prodical Father - set just before and after his heart attack - it is his thoughts as he is in the elevators - its a flashback. **

**The second part will be a continuation and the aftermath of his thoughts...**

**There are some episode flashbacks in here but there needs to be in order for the story to work - I don't own them they belong to PAX xx **

Jack Hudson stood in the elevator as it made the short journey down the five floors towards the parking garage normally this time of day he would be chasing bad guys, following leads, giving orders or stealing glances at Sue whenever he thought no-one else was looking, but he wasn't he was going home, he didn't want to but he didn't have much choice in the matter it was doctors orders.

It had been a little under a week since he had, had his heart arrhythmia while coming home from a pizza night with Sue, he had felt off all week he had a constant pain in his neck but put it down to sleeping right, little did he know that it was his bodies way of warning him to slow down. The pain had got progressively worse all day and by the time six o'clock came it was all over the one side.

As the elevator continued its slow journey his mind went back to that night. Sue seeing that he was in pain had offered to try and ease it with a massage, closing his eyes he could still feel her touch even now, their eyes had locked and it took a whole heap of strength on his part not to pull her into his lap and kiss her senseless, but he didn't instead he moved his gaze, mumbled something about it feeling much better and commenting on her great touch before standing up and using one of those same old tactics he normally used when things got a little heated between them

"I'm really hungry, how about you?"

'I swear that's all she must think I do is eat; I use that sentence every time we become too close.' After she agreed to go to dinner we headed towards the pizza place just around the corner from the office. The meal had passed with pleasant conversation about the current case, movies, friends, family; it was just another normal night between us.

Leaving the restaurant we made our way back towards our cars, Sue was telling me a story about walking in the rain from her past, but I wasn't really listening, I was starting to feel progressively worse, my neck was killing, my chest felt tight, my breathing was becoming raspy I felt awful.

"Are you alright" the concern was evident on her face and in her voice, she was worried about me

I know I should have told her I felt unwell but guessed it was just indigestion "Yeah, I just don't think that pizza is settling in too well"

She laughed it off I guess she figured it must have just been indigestion as well, we stood at the car a few seconds longer than necessary especially since it was hammering with rain

"Thanks I had fun"

"Me too"

And yet again there was another moment between us, all I wanted to do was grab hold of her and never let her go

"Well I better get going", this time it was her who used our old diversion tactic

"Me too" was all I managed to mumble even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, but after a few more awkward seconds between us I finally said goodnight before moving towards the car. I had just about managed to get to the car when the pressure in my chest became unbearable, I felt as if a vice had wrapped around my insides squeezing them all the strength they possessed

"Sue, Sue" I called out, but there was nothing, of course there was nothing she couldn't hear me, but my old pal Levi saw me collapsing against the car and alerted her to my distress. The next thing I knew I was in an ambulance heading towards the hospital, Sue sat beside looking sick with worry, I wanted to reassure her but with the oxygen mask over my face I couldn't. The next few hours were a blur.

The doctor came in and told me about the arrhythmia and that with constant medication I should be fine, I just needed to take things a little easy for now. The team came to see me and I could still see that scared look on Sue's face. They only stayed a few moments, the tiredness and the fear I was feeling was beginning to set in I just wanted to sleep.

The next few days passed in a blur. As I lay there in that room I realised I was lucky that night if it hadn't been for Levi... I didn't even want to consider what might have happened. Waking from a short sleep, I saw a figure sitting by the side of me, I had hoped it was Sue, but as my focus came back it wasn't her, it was my old girlfriend Allie, I was surprised to see her it had been three years

"Allie, what are you doing here?"

"My mom called and informed me you were here, I was worried so I came to see you and take care of you for a few days"

"There really is no need" I didn't mean to sound harsh but how the hell was I going to talk to Sue with my old girlfriend hanging around, besides if I needed anyone to take care of me I would have preferred Sue.

"Yes there is Jack, you are not going to able to do anything to stressful for a while so I suggest you get used to having me around. Now how are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

'Yes you too leave' I thought silently to myself "There is one thing you can do"

"What? Just name it"

"Can you go and get me some personal items from home, Pyjamas, toiletries etc and could you do some shopping for me the apartment is empty" I didn't really need them, I just needed a way to get rid of her encase Sue dropped by, there was something in my gut telling me she was on her way

"Sure" and with that she was gone and I felt relaxed and happy

An hour later I was still waiting for Sue, the boredom was seriously kicking in. I don't hate hospitals but for someone who is used to constantly being on the go, the lying in bed doing nothing gets to after a while. After flicking through the channels for the fifth time that afternoon and not having anything grab my interest I pushed the thing away looking back I was met by the eyes and figure of the one person I needed to see

"How ya feeling?"

"**bored" **

"Bored eh?"

"Is there a sign for bored out of your mind?"

The two of us laughed as she showed me and I repeated it

"I think that means you're on the mend"

"Yeah the doctors seem to think so" I looked at her and spoke out the fears going around my head, she's my best friend if I couldn't tell her, who could I tell, it would have stayed bottled up if I didn't"

"I've been in raids, take downs, I've been shot. I knew it was dangerous and I knew there was a possibility I might not make it out of there but it's not like I'm not scared in those situations but this was different, this wasn't some bad guy hiding behind a door with a gun, this was my own heart out of control; out of my control, all my training everything I learnt to protect myself meant nothing"

Looking up at her I didn't know what I expected to see, but there was nothing but concern in her eyes as she took my hand and held it

"I did learn one thing"

"What's that?"

"Your life doesn't flash before your eyes" I replied, causing us to laugh and ease the seriousness between us. That night had made me realise something about the two of us, all the dancing around needed to stop, I loved her, I wanted to look in her eyes but I knew if I did I would chicken out again, I needed to know if she was feeling the same way

"I guess it kind of makes you think though" risking a glance I looked at her there was something in her eyes that told me to continue, "About things you've doing" after another quick glance I knew I had to continue "maybe about things you haven't been doing, you know" this time my eyes locked with hers, I was sure we were having the same thoughts

"Yeah I do know" she had replied convincing me we were

There was so much more I had to get out but the clicking of heels coming into the room put an end to any conversation we were about to, or more like needed, to have. I made the introductions all the while hoping Allie would leave so Sue and I could resume our discussion, but she didn't instead it was Sue who left after receiving a page informing her that the sting in the case involving Mac and Simon Hoffman was about go down

"I'll talk to you later"

Nodding my head I thought 'definitely, but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later' as the thought finished she was gone

"She seems nice" Allie said stating the obvious

"Yeah she is" I had replied my eyes fixed on the door hoping to catch one more glimpse of her.

"You ok Jack" Allie had asked

"What, yeah I'm fine just a little tired"

"Ok, well you get some rest, I'll go call your mom and head back to your apartment I have some work I need to catch up on anyway"

'My apartment? Why my apartment? There are hotels in DC you know' I thought and wanted to say but I didn't so just replied "Ok see you later"

I slept for I don't know how long I slept but a few minutes after I woke team entered the room. The sting had been successful, well sort of, Simon Hoffman was in custody but Mac had disappeared. Our conversation was interrupted by a voice I knew and feared it was Violet my nurse, sure she was ray of sunshine but make her angry and she turned into a thunder cloud. I wanted to talk to Sue more so asked her to wait a while but Violet refused and she practically forced Sue out of the door while informing me I needed rest. A few boring hours of mind numbing television and book reading later I assumed I drifted back to sleep.

The next morning the doctor informed me I could leave and I needed to, I needed a change of scenery, I needed to go home but more importantly I needed to talk to Sue. So after getting my meds and checking out I convinced Allie to take me to the office claiming I needed to get some files because if I was going to be forced to stay at home for a week I might as well catch up on paperwork. Walking into the office I was greeted by cheers, welcome backs and the usual windups but it was good and I felt good being there.

Bobby, Myles, Tara and Allie were engaged in conversation but my gaze was on Sue and that hurt look in her eyes and across her face. After agreeing to meet Allie, the guys started in on me again teasing and aggravating but I ignored them and walked over to Sue's desk that look once again breaking my heart, but I needed to explain, I needed to talk to her

"The couple of things I needed to pick up think you can give me a hand out with them"

She didn't answer, she just stood with that same look on her face and it was obvious it was the thought of me and Allie causing that look. Once I was sure we were out of the earshot of the team I looked at her

"Sue I want to explain about Allie"

"Explain why would you want to explain anything"

"Because I want to that's all" 'want to it was more like I needed to'

Walking towards the elevator I stupidly pushed the button, why I would never know, no good was going to come of it, it would only make the elevator arrive quicker effectively ending the conversation but it was done now so quickly went into my stride of talking "Allie was my first real girlfriend and well through the years, there's just a lot of history between us" I was fighting the tears and as I looked at Sue so was she

"And what about now?" she asked with a hurt, upset almost pleading look on her face

"I don't know" I had wanted to add to that saying that I didn't matter because it was you I loved not her so any history was irrelevant but she cut me off

"I hope it works out the way you want it to"

Swallowing hard I wanted to say to her 'if things were working out the way I wanted them too Allie would be on a flight back to New York and you would be the one coming with me to take care of me', but that clink of the elevator beat me to it

"Your elevator's here" she said smiling trying to hide whatever it was she feeling

Getting in the elevator I knew I had practically killed any chance of continuing this conversation, but it didn't stop our eyes locking as the elevator doors shut

A familiar clicking sound bought Jack back from his thoughts; he had arrived at the parking lot floor. Exiting he walked towards the place where Allie was now parked

"Hi so you ready to go" She asked

Jack stood rooted to the spot not answering as his eyes darted between two cars, Allie's and Sue's which was coincidently parked a few spaces away, and he knew he had two choices one to go home with Allie or two go back to the bullpen and confess everything to Sue.

**So which option will Jack choose - review and I might just tell ya xx **


	2. Chapter 2

**OK I know I said in the first chapter that this was only going to be two parts but its not its gonna be three - hey I'm a woman its our prerogative to change our minds xx **

**Once again thank you soo much to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to favs it really does mean a lot to me xx you guys rock x Well enough of me yapping on lets get on with the story x **

Jack stood there looking at the two cars, his gaze lingering longer on Sue's than Allie's

"Jack, so are you ready to go?" Allie asked once more waving her hand in his face

"EH! UM! Sorry! What"

"I said are you ready to go?"

"Go, go where?"

"Back to your apartment, are you ok? You're not making much sense right now"

Jack leant against her car his head was so jumbled "Can you just give me a second I need to think? Just sit in the car I'll get in, in a second"

"Jack you can think in the car or in the apartment, get in" Allie replied opening the door hoping he would snap out of whatever it was that making him act this way

Jack kept staring his eyes moving between the open car-door and Sue's car, why couldn't she just give him a minute, that's all he wanted "Allie please I just need to make a decision and I need space to do it so please just sit in the car"

"Jack what is going on?"

"Nothing I just need a minute" He said beginning to get frustrated all he needed was just a minutes space make sense of these thoughts and voices yelling in his head

"Jack I know something is bothering you, you have been snapping and sulking ever since I arrived, so what is going on?"

Jack took a deep breath and his gaze fixed on the floor, she really wasn't going to shut up until he told her what was bothering him, looking up his gaze landed on Sue's car and he knew what he needed to do to make things right

"If you really must know Allie I'm in love" it felt so good to say it out loud, his mind felt so much clearer, he chest felt less heavy, everything finally started to make sense why he didn't want Allie around, why he was angry when she showed up, why he felt so disappointed when Sue left the hospital, why he needed to talk to Sue about him and Allie, it wasn't to flaunt their relationship in her face, something he had obviously done by the hurt in Sue's face, he needed to tell her she was the one he wanted not Allie and that all their history meant nothing since Sue entered his life

"You're what" Allie asked not really believing she had heard him say that

"I said I'm in love with someone and I don't know what to do about it. There are obstacles in the way, obstacles I don't know how to move and fix"

Allie's eyes lit up, Jack had always been the love of her life, when her mom called to say Jack was in hospital after a heart attack everything in her life seem to slot into place, she was in love with Jack and had headed to DC in the hope of starting their relationship from scratch, she was determined to make it work this time. Allie moved forward and placed her arms around his neck, but his stayed firm at his side, "I love you too Jack and as for the obstacles of me being in New York and you being here I can always transfer to the DC firm..."

Jack moved his body back effectively cutting her off "Allie, I'm really flattered and you will always mean a lot to me but I don't love you not anymore"

"But I thought... When you said" she replied embarressed, moving her hands she stepped back "I thought you meant me, Jack when I heard you had a heart attack I have never been so scared in my life, I dropped everything at work and headed straight here I realised I loved you and I needed you in my life not just now but in the future" she finished wiping the tears from her eyes

"Allie I'm sorry if I led you on and made you realise that, if this had happened a few years ago maybe things would be different, but now I'm different, I'm a different person. I am in love with someone but I'm sorry Allie it's not you"

Allie leant back against her car his words hitting her like a ton of bricks; she was sure he felt the same way she did and even though she had a feeling she knew who it was, after all she had seen the way he lit up every time he saw or wore that hockey jersey at Christmas; seen the way he looked at her in team photographs, she needed him to say the words

"Who is it Jack? Who are you in love with?"

"Allie, mate you don't want to know that"

"Probably not but I still need to"

"Its...Sue, I'm in love with Sue and I have been for a while... I just took my heart attack to make me realise it. I made a decision to tell her but having my ex-girlfriend around complicated everything and I chickened out that is why I've been so snappy and sulky. I'm frustrated at myself for not telling her sooner, at you for being here effectively stopping me telling her, but I need to Allie I need to tell her before I lose her for good"

"So I'm nothing to you anymore except a complication, thanks Jack you really know how kick a girl when she's feeling down"

"You know that's not true, you and I have been friends all our lives but that's all we are, we're just friends but to be honest yes at the moment you are a complication because you being here is wrecking my relationship with Sue"

Allie stood and looked at him, the words coming from him were hitting her blow by blow, she knew he didn't mean anything by it, he was in love and she could see it every time one of them mentioned her name but still she was angry

"So now I'm not only a complication, I'm also a relationship wrecker thanks a lot Jack, well if that's the way you feel, go, go be with her, have her take care of you, have her deal with your mood swings, yell out for her, but just remember one thing..." she stopped that sentence, she didn't want to say it even though he was hurting her deeply at the moment that last part of the sentence didn't need voicing instead she practically pushed him out of the way as she barged past him

"Allie"

Nothing she ignored him and carried on walking stopping briefly to open the driver's side door

"Allie!" he practically yelled causing her to snap her head up at him

"WHAT!"

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing it doesn't matter just forget about it and either go talk to her or get in the car and I'll take you back to your apartment"

"I'm not going anywhere Allie, just tell me; what do I need to remember?"

Allie leant against the car knowing that if she said the words she was thinking to him their relationship would be over, maybe it was best if it was; it would make losing him that whole lot easier

"Answer me Allie; what do I need to remember?" but still she ignored him "Fine don't tell me, I haven't got time to stand here waiting for you to tell me, you want me to make a choice, I'm making it, I'm going to Sue" and with that Jack turned on his heels and headed back towards the elevator.

Allie watched him leave and the anger she felt against him rose to the surface he really was choosing her, she had hoped that if he came back to the apartment he would forget about talking to Sue but now there was no chance and before she could stop the words leaving her mouth they came out

"Just remember that when you're calling for her as you sit in pain, she can't hear you, she will show you just how useless she is and can be and when that happens don't come calling me"

Something inside Jack snapped as she spoke, nobody, not even old friends spoke about his Sue in that way, turning on his heels he walked back to the car his glare never leaving Allie, stopping at her car he leant over the top

"I suggest you leave now, no-one talks about her like that while I'm around, I want her to take care of me, I don't care that she is deaf she has more love and compassion for others than anyone else I know and I want her there with me, supporting me and hopefully loving me through not only this recovery but also in our future because believe you me Allie it will be our future, mine and Sue's" he spoke slowly and calmly knowing that getting worked up and yelling was not what the doctor ordered, he knew another attack could quite possibly kill him.

Turning his back he walked towards the elevator, got in, pushed the button for the 5th floor and began the journey back to the bullpen hoping and praying that not only was Sue still there but that as she herself put it things were going to work out the way he wanted them too.

**The question is now will Sue be there... DUN DUN DUN...**

**Ok I know I made Allie a bit of a b..ch but I was never her biggest fan xx and I also now Jack is a bit mean but we all saw that look between him and Sue as he got in the elevator maybe he was angry at Allie for causing this rift between him and Sue and that's the beauty of it one will never really know the truth xxx **

**Please review xx **


	3. Chapter 3

**Next chapter xx **

Jack stood patiently in the elevator wishing it would move faster, but no, the one day he needed to get straight to the fifth floor it had to stop at every other floor in between. After what seemed like the longest ride in history it finally stopped at the fifth, everyone including himself piled out as others piled in, he was lost in a crowd of agents but finally he was free and heading towards the bullpen.

Stopping he peered his head around the door and felt his heart drop, Sue wasn't at her desk, the only people in the bullpen was Lucy and Bobby, moving slightly to get a better view it became clear she wasn't there, that was the beauty of the door to the bullpen it was located in a place where you could see everyone but if you were careful no-one could see you, and he was careful, he managed to look around and disappear before anyone had spotted him, though he would have to consider that this was probably more to do with the piles of paperwork on everyone's desk rather than his hiding skills.

Moving back to hide himself from view, he realised she could be there, she could be making coffee, that small area around Old Bertha was the part he couldn't see, it was hidden by the post, pausing for a few more minutes he quickly glanced again but still there was no sign of her

'Shit' he thought to himself 'where is she?' he stood trying to think of where she was when he heard the voices of Bobby and Lucy talking

"Hey Luce, where's Sue?"

"In the toilet and then going for lunch she said she wasn't feeling well and needed some air"

"Oh, what's up is she ok?"

"Yeah, I think she's taking what happened to Jack pretty hard, she's scared of what could have happened if it hadn't been for Levi she's feeling guilty for not recognising he wasn't well"

"It wasn't her fault there was nothing she could have done to prevent it"

"I know that and you know that but she is having a hard time believing it"

Jack stood against the wall not believing what he was hearing Sue was feeling ill, she was blaming herself, but before his thought could continue Lucy's voice caught his attention even though it was barely a whisper

"But between you, me and Old Bertha, if it was anyone else I don't think she would be half as bad if you get what I mean"

"Oh, you mean"

"Yes, but now with Allie back"

"It's not really sickness more like jealousy and heartbreak"

"Yes, I think that Jack's heart attack made her realise he means more to her than she's been letting on, she saw this attack as a wakeup call but now with Allie back she sees her chance and their chance moving away"

"Ok my turn, between you, me and Bertha Jack wants Allie to leave. Do you honestly believe he really needed Sue's help to carry stuff out, did you not notice that Jack had a few files and Sue had nothing. I was hoping Old Sparky had told her and they had driven off into the sunset"

"But then she came back to the bullpen without him. They are hopeless the two of them. Well let's hope that Jack or Sue finally realise they are meant to be together and that one if not both of them does something about it, I'm in the mood for a good wedding"

That and Lucy's laughter was the last thing Jack heard before he went hunting for Sue starting with the ladies bathroom. Standing at the entrance Jack felt like an idiot and was getting rather strange looks from the men who walked past, but until either another woman walked in or Sue walked out he wasn't moving. Finally after a few minutes of waiting and hoping Heather from the Lab appeared

"Hey Jack, what are you doing?" She asked as she saw him leaning against the door frame

"Heather am I glad to see you, listen I need a huge favour, can you go in there and tell me if Sue is still in there, I need to talk to her but I can't find her, the last thing I heard was she was heading in there"

"Jack calm down, I know where Sue is and I can tell you right now she's not in there, she's in the canteen"

Jack couldn't help but smile when he heard where she was. It was in the canteen that he found out she was deaf and where he wanted to ask her out, it seemed fitting that the location of maybe one of their most important conversations was to take place in the same location as their first real conversation.

Placing a small kiss on Heather's cheek he said "Thank you Heather you are a diamond" before disappearing back into the elevator

After what again seemed like the longest ride in history he was on the ground floor and he knew that Sue was sat in the room hidden behind the blue door just in front of him. Opening it he couldn't believe what he saw, there she was sat at the exact same table she had been the first time they had lunch it was as if fate was bringing them back together, effectively giving them a chance to start over and this time get it right. Grabbing a sandwich and a coffee from the serving area, he walked over to where she was sat, tray in hand and his gaze never leaving her.

As he moved towards her Levi went to alert her to his presence but Jack managed to stop him just in time. Instead he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up, what he saw broke his heart, tears were coming down her face, her eyes were red and swollen it was obvious she had be crying which was bad enough but what made it worse was the thought that it was him making her cry.

"Jack" she whispered wiping her tears while trying to compose herself "What are you doing here?"

"Is this seat taken?" he asked using the same phrase he had that first time they had lunch

Sue couldn't help but smile a little at the memory "No" she answered quietly, prompting Jack to sit down opposite her

"What are you doing here Jack? I'm sure Allie is waiting for you" she said standing, not wanting to 'hear' anymore about their relationship, but before she had chance to move Jack caught her arm effectively turning her around to look at him

"Sue please don't leave, please sit down I think we need to talk"

Sue fought every urge in her body to run away and leave him sat there, but there was something in his eyes that made her stay so she sat back down.

Jack took a deep breath he knew this was going to be one of the most important conversations between them.

"What do you want Jack?" Sue asked

"I want to talk to you, but first I need to know if you're ok, what's wrong I heard Lucy saying you were unwell"

"It's nothing Jack believe me I'm fine"

Jack reached over the table and placed his hand on top of hers "please Sue talk to me, I want to help, I want to make everything alright between us again. I don't want to lose my best friend"

"We're fine Jack and I'm still going to be your best friend; I just can't be around you and Allie while I'm dealing with everything else, so I'm going to have to leave Jack" She said standing up and running out of the canteen, the tears threatening to fall again

Jack mentally cursed himself for causing her this pain, he knew running was a bad idea in his current condition but hopefully power walking would be fine and with that he stood and walked as fast as he could after her, catching up with her in the street outside he grabbed her arm

"Let go Jack"

"No, not until you talk to me"

"I can't Jack. I want to but I can't. I need to leave. I can't deal with seeing you with Allie" she said forcing herself not to look at him

Taking her face in her hands Jack forced her look at him as he said the next words "Sue I'm not with Allie, she has gone home, now please come to my apartment and talk to me. My heart doesn't have the strength to see you like this"

That was all it took for Sue to collapse against him, her hands gripping his top, her head burried in his chest while the tears fell freely, she didn't know if it was due to fear, relief or the fact that he mentioned his heart and its weakness. Jack wrapped his arms around her holding her as she cried, relieved that she had not run from him again

"It's ok sweetheart" he whispered in her ear, though it was more for his benefit than hers since she couldn't hear him

After a few moments Sue moved around to his side and with his arm still tightly around her waist he led her back to his apartment and hopefully into his future

**There really is only one chapter left - this was supposed to be a two chapter but its kind of developed into more xx **

**Please review x **


	4. Chapter 4

**Well we've fianlly reached the end - told you the next one would be the last xx **

**I actually felt quite emotional writing this one for some reason :-(**

Walking through the door, Sue was relieved that he was telling the truth Allie was nowhere to be seen, it seemed as if she really had gone. Jack took her hand in his and led her to the couch where she sat down while he made them both a cup of coffee.

"**Thank you" **she signed as he handed her the cup

"You're welcome, now come on tell me what has made you so upset"

Sue took a deep breath and was going to feed him another lie or deny what she was feeling but the sight of him placing his hand over his chest as he lay back convinced her that there was a slight possibility she may never get another chance

"Are you ok? Do you need anything? Do you need a doctor?" she asked as he sat back

"No Sue I'm fine, it's just a little twinge when I lay back; the doctor told me to expect it, but enough about me please talk to me"

Sue took another deep breath she wanted to talk him but where to start, "I'm ok Jack honestly, I'm just feeling unwell maybe I need a goodnights sleep since last week sleep hasn't really be kind to me"

Jack knew she was stalling but he wasn't going to push it encase she ran from again "Why can't you sleep, there must be a reason"

'Yeah there is a reason, the thought of loosing you' she thought silently to herself "I've just been thinking a lot lately"

"About?"

"About time, about life, about events I wish I could change, about things I wish I'd done" She said quickly swallowing back another sob threatening to escape

Jack sat forward and took her hand in his "Sue, you can't live your life regretting the past you cannot change it, just like you cannot change what happened to me last week, it was not your fault"

"It was Jack, I could see that you were not right all week and all I did was suggest that you change pillows when I should have insisted you saw a doctor or went to the hospital, we went for dinner when you should have gone home, I couldn't even hear you calling me when you collapsed... If it hadn't have been for Levi"

"Sue you have to stop blaming yourself, what if we hadn't gone for dinner and I had come straight home and collapsed here in this apartment all alone, the outcome could have been much different"

"Please don't say things like that Jack"

"Sue it's the truth, I think we were meant to go out to dinner, I think it was someone's way of telling us something and the heart arrhythmia was a way of making us realise something. Do you want to know why Allie isn't here?"

Sue nodded her head, even though she was scared of what that reason might be, still there was a glimmer of hope in her, something telling her it was the reason she wanted it be "Yes Jack I want to know"

"Because she's not you, Sue I never called Allie, I haven't seen her for over three years, that day you came to see me in the hospital just before Allie arrived I had planned to tell you something but she interrupted us. I also tried to tell you when I came to the office earlier, but the elevator interrupted us"

Sue couldn't help but release a little giggle "But you pressed the button"

"I know and even now I still don't know why. When you asked me about mine and Allie's relationship you didn't give me a chance to finish, I wanted to add that any history didn't matter because I didn't love her not anymore, I am in love with someone else"

Sue stood up quickly she didn't need to know he was in love with someone else, it was bad enough when she thought he loved Allie never mind someone she had never met or had likely met, knowing the day she was having it was probably Rhonda she had come between them once why not again, Sue wanted to leave his apartment but her feet wouldn't let her instead they led her to his window but even so it succeeded in effectively cutting their conversation.

Jack stood and moved towards her, this was not going the way he wanted it to and he needed to change that quickly, standing in front of her he looked deep into her eyes, she wanted to move but he wrapped his arms around her waist effectively holding her place, but still giving her enough room to see his lips

"Sue, when I left you at the elevator I realised it was a mistake. By the time I got to the parking garage my head was spinning I had so many thoughts in my head most of them involved you. I found myself staring at your car, wanting you to be the one who was coming to take care of me, so I made a choice I explained to Allie that I was in love with someone else and left to find her"

"But instead you found me"

"There is a reason I found you, it's because it was you I was looking for"

Sue stood there looking at him she didn't know what do; never in a million years did she think Jack wanted her as much as she wanted him "What are you saying Jack?" she asked needing him to clarify it for her

I'm saying that I love you. I'm saying that I choose you, that I want you here supporting and helping me. Sue this whole episode in my life has made me realise that we need to stop denying what's between us because I have a feeling it's something special, something that doesn't happen that often and when it does it needs to grabbed hold of with both hands"

Jack watched her face trying to see if she was happy, angry or about to slap him, that fear become more so as she lifted her hand to face but instead of hitting him she gently traced his jaw line with her hand, not saying a word "Please say something Sue"

Placing a gentle kiss where her hand had traced, she softly spoke "I love you too Jack and I have for a long time. You're right we need to stop denying what we have because I cannot handle being so close and not be able to touch or kiss you. I realised I came so close to losing you forever last week. I was so relieved when the doctor said you were going to be fine. I saw it as a second chance for us to be together but then Allie arrived, when I saw you together I realised my chance had disappeared and it hurt, really hurt"

"I'm sorry I hurt you but you don't have to worry about Allie, she's gone and is not coming back, she is in the past and all I want right now is you in my future"

"I'll be there Jack" She replied wrapping her arms around him as he held on tight to her, lifting her head slightly she looked at him with a far away look

"What's wrong?" he asked

"Work, what are we going to do about work?"

"I don't know sweetheart but we'll work something out, you're technically not an agent so the rule may not apply but until then we'll just have to be careful and act normal at work and when out in public, but when we are alone we can be open"

"I guess we'll be spending a lot of time alone then, maybe we should meet in a place where no-one knows us, how about the sheltered pavilion at that park on the edge of the city, what's it called? Durham Park, none of the team lives around there, but its close enough not to arouse suspicion" Sue added with a smile

"Sounds perfect" He added before she laid her head on his chest while he held her

Jack took a deep contented breath causing Sue to lift her head once more

"You ok?" she asked

"Never better, especially now you're here in my arms and things are working out the way I want them too" he replied before leaning forward and placing the gentlest of kisses to her lips which due to the pent up passion inside them rapidly became deeper

"I've wanted us to do that for a long time. I've worked so much on myself control since the day we met" Sue added breathlessly when they parted

"Me too, especially after that massage in the office last week, all I wanted to do was pull you into my lap and kiss you deeply, and now that I can I intend to do it as often as possible"

"I'm going to hold you to that, but for now I'll settle for a night curled on the sofa with a movie"

As she finished Jack took her hand and led her to the sofa, where they sat in each other arms watching a movie and sharing kisses, both realising that no matter what the future held for them as long as they stuck together everything was going to be fine especially now they were listening to what their hearts wanted

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